08 October 2014

Domestic Violence -- Mind Fucks & Mental Illnes



No, you are not crazy; or as my abuser would call me "cray-cray". However, the person you love may very well master the art of crazy-making.  The insidious subtlety of mental abuse may have you on the couch, on meds, or volunteering for a 72-hour hold just to get a break from your abuser.


No, you are not crazy.  You are being emotionally / mentally abused. And, you can be restored. 


To determine if you are being abused answer the following questions:  When was the last time your partner:

  1. told you that 'you can't take a joke' or that 'you are too damn sensitive'?
  2. reminded you of your past failures you intimated to them while being transparent?
  3. dismissed your accomplishments, goals, plans, or definition of who you are?
  4. made you feel that they are wiser, smarter, always right in all matters?
  5. laughed at you; but do not find it funny to laugh at them?
  6. justified not apologizing for an offense instead of just apologizing to you?
  7. gave you the silent treatment, withheld sex (except for health reasons), or use affection to get sex?
  8. did not notice or care how you feel; and did not show empathy or ask questions about your feelings, illness, worry or sudden change of plans?
  9. told your personal business and shared intimate information about you that you have not approved?
  10. refused to be accountable with their time and travel, but demands to know your interactions and future plans?

To determine if you are abusing answer the following questions:  When was the last time you said:
  1. But, I have never hit her / him?
No, you are not crazy.  You are being emotionally / mentally abused. And, you can be restored. 
  • Tell somebody:  primary care physician, gynecologist, minister, spiritual leader, a good for you friend, therapist…
  • Keep a journal:  of feelings, dates, incidents, their actions, your reactions…
  • Remember:  who you were before being in this relationship, what brought you joy, enjoyment, happiness, fulfillment, peace, pleasure…
  • Imagine:  set intentions for the life you want to live when you survive leaving…
  • Strategize:  what does it take for you to walk free -- time, money, relocation, restraining order, speaking up, walking away, volunteering, spiritual practices…
  • Attend:  give attention to your intentions, every day do something that moves you closer to your whole and stronger self. 
What is the first step you will take for yourself, your sanity, and your emotional safety?



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