08 January 2015

"Mis-quoted, Meaning, and the Messiness of Rape"

#ByePhylicia is creating a provocative side-bar discussion in media and social media around the amassing allegations by women that Bill Cosby is a rapist.  For some, using this pithy hashtag excoriates Phylicia Rashad, Bill Cosby's tv wife (as none of her other accolades are relevant to this conversation for now), as being dismissive, blaming and shaming of the women who are presenting themselves as victims, yet survivors, of having been drugged and raped by Bill Cosby.  Oh, wait, not for some-- for me!

For Rashad to come out with an interview defending her being misquoted is so "ewwwww!", "wtf?", and "damn!"  For Rashad to put her her marionette-esque smile and utter such statements as "What I said was, 'this is not about the women. This is about ruining a legacy.' and 'Mrs. Cosby was on the set; a lot.'" is no more about being misquoted than would be skeet being shot from a double barrel shot-gun.

Rape, Phylicia, is ALWAYS about the women (or the man who may be raped).  Rape, Phylicia, is ALWAYS about the one not giving consent to be sexually violated.  Rape, Phylicia, is ALWAYS about disempowering the raped one with drugs, position, promise, and/or intimidation.  Rape, Phylicia, is ALWAYS abhorrent, criminal, and believable-- even when Bill Cosby rapes.

Phylicia, you were a fantasy wife. There is no legacy worth protecting when there is a severe breech in integrity when making it. The fantasy of Jello Pudding, immaculate house with five kids, and a roster of thespian icons as relatives does not RAPE repel, refute, or deny. Phylicia, wake up from that fantasy life.

At last count, 30 women shucked their shame and got the courage to name Bill Cosby as their real life rapist. Sooo, if all you have to say, is that you didn't say 'forget the women,' then #ByePhylicia, and all the women who rape women twice.

I believed the first one.

Anecdote:  
Men Can Stop Rape .org
@mencanstoprape


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